Former vice president Joe Biden appears to have secured the necessary electoral college votes to declare victory in the race for the White House. For supporters of President Trump, coming so close to victory but falling short is a bitter pill to swallow.

It’s tough for the president’s most fervent backers — and most of them are fervent — but they should console themselves with the knowledge that Trump once again exceeded nearly all predictions. Trump did not destroy the Republican Party, as many ex-Republicans and media pundits had long claimed he would, but in fact he made it stronger, as evidenced by turnout, congressional results, broader support among minorities and winning millions more votes than he secured in 2016.

To be politically associated with Trump, as it turned out, was not something for which to apologize, as many suggested, but an alliance to proudly proclaim. Trump’s down-to-the-wire finish again confounded multitudes of political prognosticators and sent pollsters scrambling for justifications that they tried in vain to make sound different from their excuses in 2016.

Yes, those things can seem like small victories in the wake of losing the biggest prize. But Trump’s supporters must also remind themselves of something they occasionally, if grudgingly, acknowledge — Trump is too often his own worst enemy. He snatches defeat from the jaws of victory.

Trump’s policies, including on controversial issues such as immigration and trade, had broader support than was measured in polls. His deregulation-driven “America First” economic programs appealed far beyond the White, working-class voters usually pigeonholed as his only loyal faction. His handling of the coronavirus was not viewed as horribly as was often claimed, and for many voters was not their top issue, anyway.

So how could Trump lose? It might come down to a matter of style. Among the many traits that separate conservatives from more moderate and liberal Americans is the fact that hurt feelings or offended sensibilities are not high on conservatives’ reasons for voting the way they vote. But for those other Americans, a president’s empathy, kindness and compassion can make it easier to tolerate policies and philosophies they might otherwise oppose.

On many, if not most, issues, there is little difference between Trump and former president Ronald Reagan, but Reagan sold his agenda with a mature bearing, jovial personality and obvious respect for friend and foe alike. Like Trump, Reagan wasn’t a career politician, but instead of using that as a point of pride — and an excuse not to get along with people — Reagan understood that his success hinged on his ability to work with Congress, which, lo and behold, happened to be populated by politicians. For millions of Americans, Trump’s personality diminished the presidency itself. Others were simply offended by Trump, a visceral response that cannot be reasoned away. Opposing someone for those reasons may seem silly to those who can’t relate to them, but it is the reality reflected in the election results. Trump, at the end of the day, has only himself to blame when he surrenders the Oval Office on Jan. 20, 2021.

And surrender it he will, after he spends a few days fuming at his enemies, raging about the unfairness of it all and pursuing court challenges that he should, in fact, pursue without too much grumbling from the other side. This election is close enough to spend a few days, or even a couple of weeks, making sure all votes were legally cast and accurately tabulated.

Twenty years ago, Al Gore and George W. Bush spent 35 days waging war in both the court of law and the court of public opinion, and while nothing in 2020 seems to rise to the level of the Florida debacle of 2000, it’s okay to take some time to make sure everything is on the up and up. In the meantime, ignore the conspiracy theories — any legitimate problems will come to light, even in the mainstream media.

Donald Trump has made an impact on the United States like few others. His imprint will live on in a likely Republican Senate, a House made more conservative (after 2018 setbacks without Trump on the ticket), a judiciary of his choosing for a generation to come and a media landscape forced to grapple with its continued misunderstanding of a population whose respect it claims to covet. Millions of Americans gravitated to Trump for reasons not yet properly summarized by essays or books, but understanding and respecting them is crucial to any hope for national unity.

Our nation needs healing, but that won’t be achieved by expecting one half of the nation to acquiesce to the other half. Respecting our differences is a more realistic remedy than demanding agreement. Let’s all quit insulting each other for a while — tamping down the use of “racist” to describe half of America would be a good start — and see what happens. Let’s all do for Joe Biden what too many never did for Trump — honor his victory, wish him well and give him a chance to lead.